Day 36

I haven't been able to update much since the splint came out, because I was getting ready to head back to school/work. Back in December at the end of last semester I packed up a good portion of my apartment and belongings to take home with me to Alabama, because I knew I would be there for possibly 2 months. So, getting all that stuff back together took a significant amount of time. I was kind of dreading getting back to my regular life, because it still felt like I was spending a huge portion of every day just maintaining myself. My skin is still all crazy and awful looking and rash-y and in the morning I still wake up with noticeable (at least to me) swelling. I hadn't gotten used to getting out in public at all, let alone going back to work and classes every day of the week. Plus, my energy level still runs low really quickly. So, yeah, I was nervous. However, I am happy to report that I'm really glad I went ahead and came back. It's so nice to have other things to focus on besides jaw surgery. It's actually really nice being busy again. When I look in a mirror I still get really self-conscious because of it looking so broken out but I'm trying not to stress about it because it reality it is going to be broken out whether I hide at my house or I get out and start interacting with the world again. I'm also hoping that getting out and about will help me continue to get better faster. When I'm hiding at home I have the tendency to just bum around, which doesn't help anything at all. I just feel so much better being back and productive again.

Everyone here has been pretty nice about the surgery, although I didn't tell a ton of people here. I've only been in the graduate program here for one semester so I don't know many people. I only told a couple of friends from class, my professors, and my employer. No one has pointed out that I look different, although I have noticed people kind of double taking when they first see me. I think they just don't want to be rude by saying I look different, since I didn't warn anyone that there would be a change in my appearance. I have gotten several "you look good"'s though, and thats nice. I feels weird communicating with people who don't know about the surgery though. I still look and sound funny when I talk, because my lips don't meet without me forcing them and my lips look weird trying to come together to form words. I also still have a little bit of a lisp on some words because the swelling from where the splint was hasn't fully gone down/healed yet. I'm sure I notice it more than anyone else though.

It's crazy that it has been 5 weeks since surgery already. Actually, now I'm getting closer to 6 weeks. Crazy! I really expected to be doing better by this point, but I think I just didn't realize how big of a deal this surgery was going to be. I honestly thought that the minute the splint came off I could go back to talking and eating exactly how I used to. My advice for anyone about to go through this: just realize that you are going to go through a very long very tedious recovery. It is a VERY gradual process. It will takes months for me to get back to eating like I used to. I basically have to re-learn how to eat with my new mouth. Biting is particularly difficult, because my top teeth can't really feel anything, and this is the first time in my life that my teeth are actually able to truly bite. Since, I have spent most of my life compensating for my open/over bite while trying to bite into things it's hard for me to try to bite normally now. Of course, I can't practice it much yet, because most things that require biting won't fit in my mouth (it will only open about as wide as my index finger) or I'm not allowed to have it because it's not soft, and I'm still on soft food for another 2.5 weeks for sure.

Sigh. SO yes. It is a very long process..but the good news is that I can tell that it's getting better. Every day I feel a little more human. So, I'm on my way. I'm still not at a point where I'm happy with the results, but I'm hoping my skin clearing up (because I believe it will soon..I hope) will help that along with the swelling completely going away (which will also happen soon..I hope). I am getting there. It will just take time I'm sure. Everyone seems to think they look freaky at this point in the process. I'm just excited to be completely past this. I keep telling myself that when this semester is over it'll be summer, and I can relax..chill out..eat whatever I want..and...GET MY BRACES OFF! :) That should happen around 6 months after surgery..which is when they say everything is healed and your face has stopped changing so it is the face you will have for life :P So, I'm withholding judgement until I get my braces off.

Day 30: Goodbye Splint!

Getting the splint out today was an interesting experience. I was pretty worried that it was going to be painful, because I had been warned by the guy who made this appt. that getting the splint out early could mean extra tenderness. It wasn't bad at all though. Of course, it's never fun seeing someone coming at your mouth with wire cutters, but I think my year in braces toughened me up enough to handle it. Aside from some discomfort from holding my mouth open as wide as I could for an extended period there wasn't any real pain. The whole process only took about 10 minutes. I will say this though: it was extremely gross. Even though my surgeon said I had done an extremely good job keeping everything clean the splint still smelled really bad when it was coming off. There was also leftover stitches that had fallen out but couldn't dissolve while inside the splint, and a fair amount of blood. I'm sorry for being so graphic about it, but I feel like it's good to be warned before hand. Luckily, my blog reading helped me here because I had been tipped off to bring a toothbrush and mouthwash. My surgeon offered to supply these things, but it was convenient that I had it with me. I spent a good 5-10 minutes brushing, re-brushing, and rinsing with mouthwash before I stopped having blood and other gross stuff come out of my mouth. Extremely unpleasant. However, it was pretty great to finally see my new smile. Its actually pretty wierd having my teeth come together the way they should. I feel so much better about my new face though now that the splint is out. I'm still swollen, and my lips still don't come together at rest but it's much better than it was. I don't look so stiff and I don't have to repeat myself 3 times for anyone to understand me. The only annoying thing about the splint removal is that my gums right behind my front teeth where the splint really covered is pretty swollen and irritated. It doesn't really hurt..it's just tender and feels kind of gross. Dr. L said it would go back to normal within a few days though.

After getting the splint out I had an appointment with my ortho, Dr. K. Apparently, it was really important that I see him right after getting the splint out, because without the splint my upper jaw was a little unstable because I didn't have a continuous wire running through my brackets on top. So, there was nothing holding the 3 segments together. I was pretty worried about seeing my ortho. because I'm usually pretty sore after a visit with him, and that is when I'm not recovering from surgery :P Luckily, he didn't do much aside from replace my wires. He also gave me a new band configuration. It's more troublesome than the one I've been doing since surgery. It's like this box formed with one band that goes around 8 teeth on the top and bottom of each side. It doesn't hurt..it's just a lot harder to take on and off. I'm sure I'll get used to it soon though. So, no worries.

I am feeling a little sore now. Probably just from people messing with my mouth all day. So, I'm back to taking Ibuprofen. Oh, but I forgot the best part of today. This evening after all the appointments and my splint was off and I got my surgeon's approval (I'm still on a soft food diet for another 4 weeks) I was able to go to Red Lobster! This is a pretty big deal for me because for the last 4 weeks of recovery they have been showing this awesome commercial for this shrimp deal they have going on. Every day..several times a day..this commercial would come on and I would just dream of the day that I could have some of that wonderful looking shrimp. Well..today was finally the day. I got a huge plate of hand breaded shrimp (which is actually very soft for anyone who has made it to soft foods) and some shrimp linguine alfredo..I also had a few of those awesome butter and garlic rolls, a baked potato, and a piece of key-lime pie. I'm such a fat kid, but it was soo wonderful :)

Day 29: 4 weeks post op!

Wow. I can't believe I'm already at 4 weeks. I feel great to be this far along, but I still feel like I have a long way to go. Have I mentioned how insane this recovery is? I thought I would be practically all healed up by 4 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I can tell I've made a ton of progress. I just didn't realize all the small things that this surgery would effect, or how much those small things would bother me. Like how my lips still don't touch at rest. I knew this would probably happen, and could last for a while but I didn't realize how much it would irritate me. My sinuses really bug me too. Every time I try to get out of the house the cold weather drives them insane. My nose gets all runny, I get a lot of sinus pressure, and I end up with a pretty bad sinus headache. Extremely annoying. These things are just inconveniences though. I know I've gotten off a lot easier with this recovery than a lot of people. I'm just not good with patience, and I am beyond ready to feel completely back to normal. This recovery is just a huge test of my patience, but every day I get closer.

I'm crazy excited for tomorrow. I have an appointment with my surgeon at 10 to get this silly splint out of my mouth. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. It was one of the things I would dreading the most about recovery, but it's surprising what you can get used to. Even a huge piece of plastic wired to your top teeth gets normal with time. For anyone who is reading this that is pre-op, don't spend too much time stressing over the splint. It's annoying, and it will make you talk funny but it is just inconvenient and you'll be surprised by how little it bothers you..especially in the first week. The splint was the last thing on my mind for the first week or so. It will be great to get it out though. I'm hoping I'll be able eat better with it out. I know I'll be able to eat with a regular spoon, and that alone will be great. It's funny how much not being able to eat with a regular spoon can effect your diet. I bought all this soup before surgery because I knew I would be on a soft food diet, but I can't eat any of them because I can't eat off a regular spoon. I'm hoping that Dr. L approves me to start to expand my diet a little though. I've been inpatient in this area too. I haven't been super limited with my eating, but I'm still very aware of what I can't have and I want it so much more just because I know I can't have it :P

I'm going to post before/afters pictures after I get the splint out. I still have some swelling going on that goes up and down, but I'm hoping by now the difference between me now and me before surgery is pretty obvious.

Day 24

3 weeks! It's been over 3 weeks since surgery. I accidentally didn't post anything on Monday, which was officially 3 weeks. It just completely slipped my mind. My brother just joined the military, and he's leaving for basic training on Monday. So, I've been spending most of my free time hanging out with him. Aside from that I've become such a hermit lately. Every time I try to go out I wind up cutting it short and going home early. My face is just completely annoying lately. When I go out the cold and wind just really irritate my skin. It gets all red and itchy and gross. The medicine that Dr. L gave me has helped some, but I still have tons of break outs all over my face. I'm so ready for them to clear up. They are by far my biggest annoyance right now.

I went out to eat today for the first time since surgery. My mom really wanted to take my brother out so I went even though I was pretty nervous about it. Its not just that I wasn't sure what I could find to eat (I've been able to improvise pretty well so far)..it was more that my eating isn't super attractive these days. That doesn't bother me at home. I just keep a towel with me and as long as I can get the food down without hurting my jaw, I'm good. In public though no one knows that I just had jaw surgery and that is why my speech sounds wierd and food occasionally falls out of my mouth. I decided that hanging out with my brother was more important than my vanity though..so I decided to just have a sense of humor about my situation, and if I make a mess then it is what it is. It turned out that it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. We decided to go to a bbq place so I could get some kind of pulled meat. My mom explained my situation to the waitress and she was happy to ask the cook to cut up my chicken really fine so that I could eat it. I also had some mac and cheese and a baked potato. It was sooo good! It was all also really easy to eat. It was so nice to be able to sit in a restaurant and eat semi-normally. I didn't stress about how silly I probably looked eating. I just enjoyed the good food and time with my family. It was nice :)

I've got less than a week now until this splint comes out. At first I was worried about them taking the splint out early, but now I'm so glad because every day this thing annoys me more. I'm also wanting to talk to Dr. L about possibly doing facial exercises to get some of this stiffness/tightness out of my face. More than anything I'm hoping he approves me to expand my diet a little more. I feel ready to start eating more normally. I'm getting pretty tired of pasta. I'm actually making a mental list of all the foods I want to eat once I'm allowed to eat normally again.

Anyway..I'm going to try to post pictures again soon. I've been taking them every few days, but I haven't been posting because my internet is awful. I'm going to try to upload all of them in the next few days though!

Day 20

I haven't had much change in the last few days. Eating continues to get easier. My face is still all rashy/broken out, but I think it's getting better since I started to use the gel that Dr. L prescribed. I'm really hoping that my skin clears up in the next few days, because I'm going back to church on Sunday and I don't want my face to still look all gross by then. I've also been having more jaw pain over the last couple of days. I don't know if thats because I've been talking more and if its just because the numbness is wearing off. It's not awful pain..it's just annoying when I'm trying to talk. I haven't felt much change numbness wise. I keep getting jolts in my chin and it's crazy sensitive to touch, but it still feels just as tingly as it's been feeling. I have most of the feeling back in the right side of my face except for right under my eye, but that is hardly noticeable. On the left side I'm still tingly right under my eye, in my cheek, and in the left side of my chin. Swelling doesn't seem to have improved much either. I'm still swollen along my jaw line, in my cheeks, and in the area right above me upper lip. I think I might still have a little swelling in my chin too, but I'm not sure since I'm not even used to having a chin :P I'm not sure how big it's supposed to be naturally.

I got some awesome news the other day. I had been waiting to hear back from Dr. L's office about an appointment to get the splint out, and I was able to talk them into letting me get it off closer to 4 weeks after surgery rather than 5. The only other option was waiting until 6 and a half weeks after surgery, and that just sounded too awful. So, I'm seeing Dr. L at 10 am on the 30 to get the splint off and then I see Dr. K (ortho.) at 2 to change out my wire. Yay!! I absolutely did not expect to get my splint out any sooner than 5 weeks so I am soo happy to be getting it off early. This means that I won't have to go back to school/work wearing this awful splint that makes my speech incomprehensible. I'll also be able to start using a regular spoon again :) Since surgery I've been having to use a baby spoon and turn it upside down and lick whatever I'm eating off it. Very annoying. This means that all the soup I bought I can't even eat.

Anyway, today was pretty good. I'm slowly getting back into a regular routine of being able to get up, get ready, and get some stuff done. Class just started back so I'm going to be focusing on getting homework done over the next few days. I don't want to fall behind, and it'll be nice to have something else to focus on rather than obsessing over surgery stuff all the time. I can't wait to get to the point that I don't think about surgery anymore. I get closer every day :)

Day 16: First Post-Op Appt.

So, today I took a trip to Birmingham to see Dr. L (my surgeon) for the first time since surgery. I was interesting to put myself together and get back out in the world a little bit. I'm still really not comfortable going out with my face being so huge still. Everything went well though. The first thing they did was take x-rays of my new jaw and bite. That was great, because before surgery my x-ray looked like one of those neanderthal skulls. My top jaw jutted forward so far and it was narrow..it just looked awful. I'm going to try to get copies of the x-rays so I can post them on here. Anyway, my new x-ray looks amazing. My bite looks so perfect, and it was so awesome to hear the resident guy say the word perfect so many times while he was talked about my x-ray. I'm so used to people being shocked by how bad my x-ray looks..so it was really a new experience for me. It also made me more optimistic about what my results will be like once all of this swelling finally goes down. It was kind of crazy to see all the hardware in my face though. The resident started to point out all of it, but then gave up and was just like "basically, it's everywhere", haha. It looks like I have bicycle chains in my jaw. Very cool..and weird.

I got a chance during my appt. with Dr. L to ask about my diet. I was worried I was on the verge of going overboard with the adventuring. Fortunately, all the foods I've eaten so far have been completely fine. The only thing that was questionable was the pizza, and after I explained to him how I had eaten it (in tiny bites and only really really soft/cheesy bits) he said it was fine. Of course, that does mean that I don't need to adventure any further than I already have, but I feel like there are enough foods that I'm allowed to have right now that I can survive a few more weeks on it. I just really didn't want to go back to basically a pure liquid diet like I was at first. I like smoothies, but I don't think I could survive the next 3 weeks on only smoothies :P

I also asked Dr. L about my skin issues, and I was right..it's not just regular acne. He thinks that it looks like rosacea. Luckily, its not anything permanent its just a reaction to my skin being so irritated and swollen for so long. He wrote me a prescription for some special cream that he said should clear it up. I'm really hoping it works quickly, because currently my face just looks really gross, and I can't cover it up because I definitely don't want to irritate my skin even more than it already is. I'm trying to not worry about it too much. It's just one of those things I'm going to have to deal with for a little while. It's all part of the recovery process.

Dr. L gave me permission to go back to sleeping normally instead of elevated, but I think I'm going to stick with it a little while longer, because I know that it is supposed to help decrease swelling and I definitely don't want my swelling to go back up at all. The best news that he gave me is that I'm definitely getting the splint out in 3 weeks. My mom had me worried that it might be 4, because she thought Dr. L had said it might be 6 weeks, but he promised me today that it was only 3 so yay! I am so ready for this thing to be out of my mouth. I'm really trying to be patient..it's just crazy annoying. Plus, I can't really see my bite with the splint on, and I'm anxious to see my new smile :)

In other news, we're actually expecting snow tomorrow! :) This rarely happens in Alabama, so I'm pretty excited about it. I'm hoping I can get out and play in it a little even if it's only slush :)

Day 14

2 weeks post op!! It feels great to have finally hit a small milestone in this journey. One week was something, but since I could still barely see straight at that point I wasn't too concerned with what day it was. I kind of can't believe that it has been 14 days that I've been dealing with trying to recover from this surgery. 14 days just sounds like such a long time to me, and really I'm still in the beginning.

So, I'm going to start with the good. I have made a good amount of progress, I think. My eating is still pretty limited, but I feel like I'm able to eat a lot more than most people who are 2 weeks post op from double jaw surgery. Of course, I don't know that I'm actually supposed to be being as adventurous as I have been with my eating, but I just can't stand yogurt all the time :P And now that I know I'm able to chew it's almost impossible for me to go backwards. I'm going to talk to Dr. L about it on Wednesday to make sure I'm not overdoing it. I'm dying to try some kind of meat..I'm missing it sooo much..but I don't want to venture that far without talking to Dr. L first.

I had another complication pop up today. My face is breaking out like crazy, but it doesn't look like acne. It's just tons of red dots all over my face..like I have some kind of crazy rash. I had read about other people having problems with break outs, but this is pretty over the top for me. My skin has never acted like this before, and it kind of freaks me out to see it this way. I guess this is just another thing I'm going to have to deal with, and wait for it to go away. Seems like my skin is just as annoyed about staying swollen for 2 weeks as I am, Ha. That's the other thing that still really bothers me. It feels like the swelling hasn't gotten any better at all for days. I'm beyond ready for it to go down, but I guess it will in its own time. Now, I'm just counting down the days until I get this stupid splint off..only 3 weeks & then it's back to life, school, and work. WooHoo :P At least I'll be able to eat normally again. All of these food commercials are killing me. I want a salad..I want peanuts..I want carrots and apples and steak and a big juicy hamburger that I can bite into. Sigh. Yeah. 3 more weeks.