Here we go again...

Today I had an appointment with Dr. L, the surgeon who completed my double jaw surgery about 6 years ago. I went into this appointment with the intent of getting more information about possibly going forward with total joint replacement, which he recommended last year. As expected, it appears to be a go.

Luckily, my control freak nature is helpful in this situation. I told Dr. L that I am good to go ahead with this second surgery, but I will need to coordinate with a lighter time at work and my time off from school. My hope is to get the surgery done in early May, and that will give me the summer to recover. I am basing my expectations on my last surgery experience. It took me about 6 weeks to get functional enough to return to school last time. So, I am expecting at least that long this time. This time around I have the added complication of talking literally being my entire job (I am a Licensed Professional Counseling in the state of Alabama). So, it'll be difficult to go back to work full time. My hope is to work my way up. I am only working part-time right now as it is, because I have just started a doctoral program in Counselor Education. So, this is helpful. I won't be taking classes over the summer, and I have put in for a summer job to supplement my income that I can do remotely. So, I'm crossing my fingers about getting the financial side of things figured out.

Here is what I know so far about the medical side of things. I'll be getting braces again very soon to correct where my bite has tried to compensate for the continued condyle resorption. Dr. K has said this will only take a couple of months; however, Dr. L wants me to go ahead and get them on ASAP, because he will need to get a CT scan in order to make the custom joint prosthesis. It takes about 2 months for the prosthesis to be made after the CT scan. So, that is 4 months of prep at best. Since I want to get the surgery in May I need to get started ASAP in order to leave some wiggle room to account for any possible issues. Curious what the prosthesis will look like?

That is the picture Dr. L supplied me with :) It only looks slightly different than the stock version. The benefit of getting a custom prosthesis is that it is guaranteed to fit with no issues. So, it will hopefully help the surgery go more smoothly. According to Dr. L, this surgery should have a slightly easiest recovery than the last surgery, because it only involves the bottom jaw. The primary issue will be the potential for nerve damage, but this is typically a temporary issue and nerves regenerate with time.

Overall, I left the appointment feeling optimistic about surgery and the potential results. I am very hopeful that this will finally be the last chapter of my jaw surgery saga. I will be trying to contact Dr. K to reschedule my braces appointment ASAP and I will update with new before pictures as well. I think it will be interesting the see how my bite has changed since the last surgery. I don't think it is very noticeable at this point, but I've avoided focusing on it until now.

As always, I hope all this information ends up being helpful for someone in a similar situation. From my experience it has been more difficult to find personal stories from people who have had a total jaw joint replacement. So, hopefully I am filling in the gap a bit by sharing my story. If you have happened across this blog in your search for information and answers feel free to contact me. I know this has been a stressful process for me. So, I'm happy to help others in any way that I can!

I'll update as soon as I have more information :)

Total Joint Replacement?

It has been nearly 6 years since my double jaw surgery, and it turns out the story isn't entirely complete yet. I posted in January about my visit with Dr. L, my ortho surgeon. Based on most recent images he believes I will need to have total joint replacement surgery in the future. However, the timing of that was left up to me. I was told to come back and see him in a year for a follow up.

Since that time I applied, interviewed, and got accepted to a PhD program in Counselor Education and Supervision. YAY! I've move to a new city. I'm working part-time in private practice while I'm going to school. I'm helping to run the non-profit I founded with a friend back in 2015. I have a lot on my plate. BUT. I need this stupid surgery.

We knew this was a possibility back in 2012 when we planned my original surgery. I was just hoping my joints would remain stable and not deteriorate any further. Anyway, after getting the news in January I have mostly put the surgery out of my mind, and I've been focusing on the many transitions I have going on right now. With the fall starting and the end of the year approaching I feel like I should probably start considering it again. I am a planner. Even though I would prefer to not be dealing with this, I am going to deal with it in the best way I can.

SO. I got in touch with both Dr. K (orthodontist) and Dr. L (surgeon) this week and scheduled appointments. I need to talk with Dr. K because my teeth have shifted, and they will need to be back in line before surgery. I am going to see him later this coming week. I scheduled my appointment with Dr. L for mid-December once the semester is over. That is pretty close to one year since my last appointment with him, and I won't have classes to deal with for a bit. I'm sure he will take new scans at this appointment, and I'm curious to see if the situation has worsened any more. I am also wanting to get more information about the surgery. He didn't have an opportunity to talk me through it much at the last appointment, and now that I have accepted the reality of the situation I need all the details.

From the little I have researched on my own, supposedly Jaw Joint Replacement Surgery has come a long way, and tends to yield good results. I had a candid conversation with another ortho surgeon who claims one joint replacement should be good for my lifetime. So, I am keeping my fingers crossed on that. In terms of recovery, everything I have read seems to indicate it will be similar to last time, and this is my biggest concern. That surgery took me out for 2 months and I wasn't eating normally for more than that. Luckily, I was in a life position at the time that I could rely on family and take the time off. I was on break from grad school, and my job was on campus. So, I didn't need to request additional time. I was 23 for the first surgery. I'm 29 now. I have a business and a non-profit and TONS of responsibilities. It is tougher to prepare for this time around, but I'm figuring it out.

Like last time, I'm going to document the journey to the best of my ability in this blog. I know it was helpful for me to read others' experiences last time, and I want to make sure this blog tells the whole story. Hopefully, some of the info I share will be helpful to someone else. If not, it at least gives me a good outlet for venting, haha.

5 years post-op!

Hey everyone!

I know it has been an incredibly long time since I have updated this blog. Honestly, after getting my braces off and making it past the year mark surgery stopped being something I remotely thought about. I have maintained yearly check-ins with both my surgeon and my orthodontist, but things have held steady until this year.

I'll start with all the good news. I no longer experience any side effects from surgery except for some minor sinus issues that may or may not be related. I do not experience any jaw pain or stiffness. My range of motion is great. I can eat pretty much whatever I want. The scars from surgery have faded substantially, and although I still know that they are there by touch I can't really see them. So, everything seems great! I have moved on with my life, graduated with a master's degree, and started my own private practice. Here are a few before and after pictures to show what I looked like prior to surgery and where I'm at these days :)

 2017

 2012

2012

Big difference, right? So, all is good, but there is a bit of bad news.

I went to see my surgeon, Dr. L, for my yearly check-in and after a bunch of x-rays we now know a few things. 1. My bit has re-opened just a bit. It's hardly noticeable, but the fact that it has opened at all is terrible in my book. 2. My condyles have continued to resorb, and the one on my left side is now basically gone. This would explain why my bite has re-opened a bit. 3. It is likely that this process will continue, and my bite will get worse.

All of that is some pretty awful news I was just hit with yesterday. However, there are still a lot of unknowns. My bite has stayed relatively stable over the past 5 years. Dr. L said he would expect my bite to be MUCH worse than it is considered by lack of condyle on the left side. So, there is no way to know how bad the situation could get. It is likely that I will need total joint replacement surgery at some point in the future, but at the moment it is up to me when to explore that avenue. Currently, I have no pain and my jaw function is totally fine. I just don't want to let the situation get out of hand. I also don't want to go back through a major jaw surgery. So, we are on hold for the moment.

I also checked in with my orthodontist, and a few of my teeth have moved. This is entirely my fault, because I stopped wearing my retainer. This movement could lso be making the slight opening in my bite worse. So, he has offered to put one bracket on m upper teeth to fix that situation. Currently, we are going to just do the orthodontic side and hold off on surgery. I will be doing lots of research over the next year about what a total jaw joint replacement would look like, and I will of course be documenting that journey in this blog where it all began :)

I won't be updated as regularly as I did in the beginning, but I'll post new info as I learn. I knew this was a possibility going into the first surgery, but it is a major bummer that it looks like there is another surgery in my future.

ONE YEAR POST-OP!

I can't believe it has been over a ear since I went through double jaw surgery! I'm actually late in posting this update, because I have been pretty pathetic about keeping up with this blog after the first couple of months past surgery. However, I know that when I was reading all the blogs in preparation for my surgery I absolutely loved seeing the one year updates because it showed tat jaw surgery can actually be survived :)

So, here I am to say that at one year after jaw surgery I am still here and enjoying life. Jaw surgery is certainly not something that I think about every day or even every week anymore. I do still have jaw pain sometimes. The left side of my jaw gets sore if I do too much chewing or if I get stressed (I tend to tense up my jaw and if I do that for too long my jaw gets sore). Overall though, I am very happy that I went through with this surgery. I look at pictures and videos of myself from before surgery and I don't recognize that girl! To remind you, she looked like this:

That picture is from my college graduation about 7 months before surgery. I have no chin! Now I look like this:

Look at that chin :) It is insane to me reading back over my posts on here at what an incredible journey this surgery put me through. I'm not going to lie, it was extremely tough at times. If you are about to go through this surgery you will probably think you're dying for the first week after surgery. Things do get better though. Progress is slow, but you will get there. I no longer have an of the issues that I spent so much time complaining about on here. My swelling hug around for a long time, and the skin issues took the absolute longest to get under control, but it was always manageable. I think the most important thing to keep in mind in recovering from this surgery is to not spend too much time worrying about how you look. You never look as bad as you think. It will take a while to get used to your new look and your new bite. You might have people not recognize you immediately and you might have to teach yourself how to eat and smile with your new jaws. In the end though you will be really happy with the results! Eating is so much easier these days. It's astonishing really, because I remember what it was like before and I didn't realize back then that I ate weird. I can actually bite into things now! When I smile people don't see all the way to the back of my throat! Haha, it's great and I don't think I can fully explain how great all the changes have been.

I have gotten several questions about the scars but they really don't bother me much. They are also still healing. I've actually noticed recently that they are much less noticeable than the were 6 months ago. Also, I have never had anyone mention them to me. Usually when people ask about my surgery and whether I have scars I have to point my scars out to them even if my hair is pulled back. So, I've gotten to a point where I don't care much about them, and I'm sure that one day I won't even notice them anymore :)

So, to summarize, life a year after surgery is good :) I can look back and say I'm glad I did this, and that is a place I was worried I wouldn't get to. So Hurray!

Day 148: Sorry it's been so long!

Hey guys! I'm sorry for dropping off the planet for so long! Life just started to really pick up and between school, work, and traveling I have had next to no free time. Honestly, jaw surgery just became less and less of an issue that was constantly on my mind, but that's good news! :) I'm now at about 5 months post-op and I thought I would give a good update about how I'm doing at this point since I haven't updated since the first weeks after surgery (sorry about that!)

So, first of all I'd like to say that I absolutely can't believe that it has been 148 days since surgery! 5 months ago I couldn't even imagine being this far past surgery. At this point I feel like I'm almost back to normal. Surgery is definitely not something that is constantly on my mind anymore. Really, I only think about it when I eat and even then it's not much. I still can't eat absolutely that I want, but I am pretty close. The only exceptions are things that require a lot of chewing like crunchy fruits or vegetables, tough meats like steak, and hard or chewy candies. I also still have a bit of an issue with the range of motion of my jaw. I still can't open as widely as I could before. So, I have to keep that in mind when I try to eat burgers and sandwiches. Usually it doesn't create much of an issue though, because I can just squish them a little and it's fine. I can also tell that my range of motion is still getting better all the time so that isn't something that worries me really. I have noticed that I have some jaw pain that I didn't have before surgery. If I talk to much, yawn too widely, or accidentally knock my jaw in some way then I have some pain but it's not severe. It's just a dull ache. As far as numbness goes I have almost none remaining. The only spots that are still numb are parts of my gums like my upper gums (which are only partially numb) and the area directly behind my front upper teeth where the splint was (here I can feel pressure but it's still pretty numb). I was really worried that the numbness behind my upper front teeth was going to cause my to have some kind of permanent lisp, but it had turned out that my speech has adapted around the numbness. I still feel like I sound a little weird when I say some words, but my friends have told me that it is extremely slight and less than the lisp that I had before surgery. So I'm good with that :) I continue to have skin problems, which had been my biggest annoyance in this whole process, but it had really cleared up A LOT. So, I think I'll get my old skin back eventually. I only still notice it because I used to have such nice skin so the little bit of acne and dryness that I still have going on makes me really self-conscious. So overall, I know I'm still not completely healed but my recovery doesn't impact my daily life much at all. I just have to be a little careful about my food choices. Eating isn't as easy as it was before surgery, but it's getting easier the more I get used to my new bite. I think most people don't realize that you kind of have to re-learn how to eat with your new mouth, because the old way doesn't work when everything is lined up the way it should be. So, I'm still a pretty slow eater but I'm getting better and I'm getting close to not having to think about it when I eat.

I'm also feeling better about my new look than I was at 7 weeks post-op. Pretty much all of my swelling is gone, and I definitely think the surgery gave me an improvement over how I looked before. It's just still weird seeing pictures of myself, and being surprised again at how I look. It's just an adjustment. The only think that bugs me is that my braces seem to be more noticeable now. I'm not sure if this is just in my head or what, but I hardly noticed them before surgery and now they are all I can see almost, haha. The good news in this area is that the braces are set to come off in about a month!! I absolutely can't wait for that day to get here :)

Anyway, that's my update. In the next couple of days I'm going to post updated progress pictures so everyone can get one last look before the final product when the braces come off :) I'm also going to post some pictures of the scars on the outside of my jaw to give everyone an idea of how well they're healing. I know with the Inverted L the outside scars are a big worry. I know they were for me going into this surgery. I've been pleasantly surprised that they don't bother me much. They aren't visible at all with my hair down, and I've never had anyone notice them when I wear my hair up. I'm a pretty slow healer so I feel like they still look pretty bad, but I've been assured that they will heal to the point that they just look like a normal wrinkle in my neck at some point. If anyone has any questions or needs help finding information about this surgery feel free to let me know!

Day 51

So, Monday was 7 weeks post-op. I'm at the point where I'm only updating this blog weekly because there isn't a ton of change going on. However, there is still change. It's just slow.
So, here is my list of things that are still annoying me:

1. Skin- Shocking, right? Since that has been my main complaint since week 2. It is just so incredibly sensitive to everything, and it dries out so quickly. The good news here is that I can tell that it is getting better. The areas that were broken out are no longer technically broken out. Meaning it doesn't look like acne really anymore. There are just some red dots where acne had been, but it is clearly in the healing process. I'm trying to just be patient with that. I know from having acne when I was younger that when I had a bad breakout it took a while to fully heal even after I had gotten it under control. So, I'm trying to just pamper my skin every day to help with the healing. I've stopped using any kind of abrasive wash or acne medicine on my face because this seems to irritate things more than it helps. I was my face with baby moisturizing soap instead of regular soap or face wash. I bought a special facial moisturizer that has a tiny bit of acne medicine in it. I'm still using the prescription Dr. L originally gave me, because the cream the dermatologist gave me actually made things WAY worse. ( I woke up the day after I first used it, and my face had new break outs everywhere, was crazy oily, and insanely red. It took days to get that back under control.) However, I'm using smaller amounts of the prescription Dr. L gave me, because using a ton of it seemed to make things worse too. Everything I put on my skin I do in moderation now, because I learned the hard way that using too much medicine is just counter-productive. I'm hoping that very soon things with my skin will clear up. The steroids the dermatologist gave me seem to have helped a little, because over the past few days every time I wake up in the morning I can tell my skin has improved some. So, I'm crossing my fingers that I will look more like me and less like a 12 year old with acne soon :P

2. My lips STILL don't meet at rest. However, it is getting easier to force them together. I would say at this point it only takes as much effort as it did before surgery (My lips have never met at rest because my overbite was so bad that my lips just didn't naturally cover them). This is something that has seemed to be improving this week though. I can tell by looking in the mirror that I still need to heal some in this area though, because forcing my lips to meet looks a little weird. This isn't a huge annoyance and I've read other blogs enough to know how much time it can take to get your lips to finally touch at rest. So, I'm just waiting it out. The only reason it bugs me is because I can't smile with my lips closed, and sometimes I still have food fall out of my mouth when I'm eating just because my lips don't come together to keep food in, haha. I'm sure other people just think I'm rude for always eating with my mouth open these days.

3. Still not thrilled with my new look, but I think I'm getting closer. My face still looks kind of tight to me in pictures..so I'm thinking there is still a little swelling going on. However, I was in a wedding on Friday night and there are actually some pictures of myself that I like! I haven't taken a picture of myself that I liked in at least 6-8 months since the braces made my overjet so much worse. I still think I looked kind of weird because my face was all red and broken out from the cream the dermo. gave me, but overall there were some pictures where I thought, "Hm, I actually don't look half bad" :) I'm counting this as definite progress.

So, overall I don't have a lot to complain about. I'm definitely not focusing on surgery the way I was a few weeks ago. I can go to restaurants and eat almost anything I want (within reason). I don't feel embarrassed or self-conscious in public. I do still have the tiniest bit of a lisp hanging around, but I think I am the only one who notices and it will go completely away eventually when I regain feeling of the gums behind my front teeth. So, at 7 weeks post-op life is almost back to normal. I still think about jaw surgery every day, but it is no longer my main focus and I'm looking forward to the day when I can say I'm completely happy with the results. I'm sure it's just around the corner.

Here are some regular pictures from the wedding that I was in on Friday. That would have been day 46. Try to ignore how red my face is :P I'll post real before and after pictures when I get back to my Mom's.

Day 44

Finally saw a dermatologist today to try to figure out what is going on with my skin. My surgeon had said that it looked like rosacea, but luckily my dermatologist disagreed. Dr. B (dermatologist) said that he thinks it is probably an allergic reaction to something from surgery..like anything they used on my face when prepping me or some of the medicine they gave me after. He thinks it has hung around this long, because it keeps getting re-irritated..the allergic reaction added with the swelling, extra oil, and general stress of surgery caused my skin to be hyper-sensitive and the allergic reaction couldn't heal. All of that makes sense, so I'm really hoping he's right. Anyway, he gave me a steroid pack that I'm supposed to take for 6 days along with some topical steroid cream to put directly on the bad areas of my face. He said that if he's right it should clear up pretty quickly. So, I'm really praying he's right! I'm so sick of my face being broken out, red, and splotchy. Plus it itches and burns every time I go outside for any amount of time. Very annoying. So, here's hoping my dermatologist knows what he is talking about.

In other news I have my second orthodontist appointment tomorrow. I'm thinking he's going to do some actual adjusting tomorrow. So, I'm kind of worried that I'm going to be in pain tomorrow :/ No pain, no gain I guess.

I had a pretty weird experience today. I haven't been getting out a lot since surgery except for when I have to. For the most part I've only seen family and close friends, but today when I was waiting for the elevator to see my dermatologist I saw a girl I had several classes with in college. So, we saw each other several times a week for a few semesters. Anyway, I saw her and immediately waved and started talking to her. Only, after a minute I realized that she was looking at me weird as if she didn't know who I was. It took her a few minutes before finally she said, "Oh! It's you! You look like a completely different person!" Obviously, she didn't know I had jaw surgery. So, I explained it to her, but it was just so weird for me. She is the first person I have had react that way, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I definitely didn't set out to look like a different person, and that isn't exactly a compliment. So, I really don't know how to take it. I'm sure this isn't going to be the last time I have an experience like this. I'm just wondering how to cope with it. I'm not in a place where I like the way I look. So it was just kind of jarring. I wish I knew other people who had gone through this, because no one around me really understands what it feels like. I think I'll feel better about these kinds of things once I feel more comfortable with the new look. Like everything else, it'll just take a while I guess.