1 Day until surgery: Tomorrow is the big day!

So, tomorrow is it.  I know this is what everyone says..but I can't believe it's here. I feel like I've had no time to prepare even though I have. Friday Mom took me shopping for some soft food that I will hopefully be able to eat when I get home from the hospital. We also got the things on the supply list that I came up with.

Here is the list of supplies that we bought:
- Bed buddy
- Fiber supplement
- gauze
- band aids
- humidifier
- Ibuprofen
- Mederma (because there will be incisions on the sides of my neck..I don't want noticeable scars)
- Neosporin (also for the neck incisions)
- Kleenex
- baby toothbrush

I think that is everything. I'm hoping I got everything I needed. We couldn't find a jaw bra..so I'm really hoping that they provide one at the hospital..otherwise we'll have to order one offline.

Today I mainly just tried to not think about the surgery. I went to church with my family this morning, and afterwards we went to eat where I order an appetizer tray with all of the crunchiest appetizers, haha. Then, I went to see Les Miserables with my brother. It was absolutely amazing. I'm really glad we decided to go see it, because I'm not sure when I'll feel up to going to the movies again. Of course, by the time we got home my nerves had kicked in again. We have to be at the hospital by 5 am, and since it is about an hour away from my house we'll be leaving around 3:30. Originally, I planned to go to bed really early tonight, but now I'm so keyed up and anxious that I don't think there is any way that I can sleep. I'm just naturally a worrier. I get anxious about everything, and I worry constantly. So, every minute that I wait I think about more things to worry about. I know I'm probably playing all of this up too much in my head, but I can't help it. I worry that it's going to be worse than I think it will be, and that I can't handle it. I'm really trying to calm down..I'm just not having any luck. I guess it's probably a good thing that the surgery is so early in the morning. I would be losing my mind if I had to wait much longer.

Oh well, I guess what it comes down to is that there is no going back now. All I can do is move forward..so thats what I'm going to do. I don't know how long I'll be in the hospital, but I'm taking my laptop and will try to post pictures and updates as soon as I'm able. I would appreciate anyone who reads this blog saying a prayer for me tomorrow. I'll see everyone on the other side :)

Pre-Op Pictures

So, here are my pre-op pictures. They're not from the orthodontist. I just had my mom take them for me, but they do a good job showing how awful my bite really is. I never allow pictures of me like this. So, this is the harsh truth of my bite that I work so hard to hide, haha. I'll use these pictures as comparisons after surgery.

4 Days Until Surgery: Merry Christmas!!

So first of all I hope everyone had a very merry Christmas! Mine was pretty great because I got to spend it with my Godson. I actually got to see him get his Santa Claus presents on Christmas morning. He was so excited & I think he really had a blast with the ton of presents that he got from me, his mom, my mom, my brother, and a ton of other people. That kid really racked up :)

That is him with his brand new tricycle & Hulk hands that he got from Santa. He proceeded to wake me up by attacking me with the Hulk hands a few minutes later. It was about 5:30 in the morning, and now I finally get what parents go through every year, haha. Although, I forgive him because he is unbelievably cute & his enthusiasm was extremely contagious.

Overall, it was a much better holiday than I had originally been expecting, and I'm always glad when my pessimism goes unrewarded. Aside from getting to spend my Christmas morning with my favorite little man I also got to spend some much needed time with my Dad's side of the family on Christmas Eve. I don't get to see them very much so it was really nice to catch up with them.

They were all pretty curious & slightly shocked about the details of my upcoming surgery. I'm starting to realize how hardcore this all sounds to people hearing all the gory details for the first time. I'm really hoping it won't be as bad as it apparently sounds. I'm feeling pretty glad right now that I decided to wait about having surgery until after Christmas. The food yesterday was absolutely amazing, and I would have been so bummed to miss out on it. I'm positive that I ate way too much, but I just kept thinking about how much I'll probably be missing solid food soon and I wanted to enjoy it while I could. For this same reason, I've been eating tons of chips and dip lately :) I know that this isn't going to make the soft food diet any less tedious once it gets here..but it makes me feel better right now anyway :P

Now that Christmas is over surgery is starting to get very real. I can't believe that I only have 4 days left before surgery. I'm feeling mixed emotions, but for the most part I'm incredibly nervous. I'm trying to be as prepared as possible, but I feel like there is no way I can be fully prepared because I probably can't anticipate everything. Over the next few days I'm going to be getting my list together of the things I'll need before surgery so I can make a shopping trip. I'm also working on a list of soft, hopefully easy to eat foods to pick up so that I keep my nutrients up after surgery.

I'm also planning on taking my before pictures to post on here sometime in the next few days. I'll probably post those Saturday or Sunday.

11 Days Until Surgery: Pre-Op Appointment

So, yesterday I had my pre-op appointment with Dr. L and the anesthesiologist to go over the official plans for surgery. Unfortunately, all he really had for me was bad news. Apparently, Dr. L got together with a bunch of other doctors and they all worked on a virtual version of my surgery. The good news is that virtual me turned out looking great. The bad news is that they decided that I'm going to need a bone graft because of how much they are going to be moving my jaw (13 mm when the average is about 5mm..whoa). They said they could take bone from my hip or my skull, and both sound pretty scary to me. Dr. L said that he prefers the skull because it won't effect my recovery so much. Supposedly, taking bone from my skull will just give me a minor headache. I don't know that I completely believe that, but I also know that I already have problems with my hip popping and taking bone from my hip won't help that. He did promise that taking bone from my skull wouldn't require cutting my hair at all. They just part my hair and then after surgery my hair will cover any scar that is left behind. It's just one more thing to add to this list that makes my surgery more complicated that the average double jaw surgery. I'm getting a little tired of the bad news, and the extra stuff.

I did get an opportunity to ask about why they want to do the Inverted L instead of the BSSO. Apparently, the BSSO wouldn't allow Dr. L to move my jaw as far as it needs. The Inverted L also makes it alot less likely that they'll need to use a ton of bands on me..so probably no being banded shut :) The only thing that really bothers me about the inverted L is the fact that they'll have to make incisions on the sides of my face. I'm just really hoping they're not noticeable. It would almost defeat the purpose of all this if I'm still embarrassed to have people see my profile because of some ugly scars. My Mom says that she knows a bunch of ways to get rid of scars though. Also, the splint is sounding pretty bad. I'm just trying to not focus on that. It's temporary. It'll be gone after 5 weeks, and I have permission to not go back to school or work until after it is out which is very good news. Most people don't have that luxury.

I'm really just trying to stay positive and press on at this point. Surgery is only a week and a half away, but Christmas is in a few days. So, I'll be spending the next few days focusing on family and friends and having a good Christmas :) I think for the most part I'm just feeling pre-surgery anxiety. I've wanted this for years, I just didn't realize how much work it was going to take. I'm strong, and I think I can handle it though. So, now that I have all the information I'm just going to focus on staying positive throughout this experience, and remember that all the inconvenience and discomfort is temporary. I'm sure this will all be worth it.

21 Days Until Surgery: Official Appointment Time

I would have updated earlier, but there isn't much news. I got a call from my surgeon's office on Friday, and they confirmed my surgery for the 31st of December. There was some confusion with the receptionist who called me about what surgery I was having done, but the final word is I'll have a 3 piece Lefort on my upper jaw, an inverted L osteotomy on my lower jaw, and a genioplasty for my chin. Apparently, the genioplasty is pretty much cosmetic but Dr. L swears that it's necessary, and he went to med school so I'm sure he knows more than I do. They scheduled a pre-op appointment for Dec. 19th in order to talk to Dr. L more specifically about what he'll be doing and to meet with the anesthesiologist. I'm pretty anxious for this appointment to get here, because it seems like every day I come up with more questions.

My biggest worry is about my lower jaw and the inverted L osteotomy. I've been trying to do my research and it seems like most people have a BSSO done to fix the kind of problem I have. In fact, I can't find one personal account of a person having an inverted L osteotomy. I did find a lot of journal articles written in medical jargon that I don't really get. So that hasn't been very helpful. It's making me really nervous that I can't find any information about this surgery, because it makes me think that this is a very new and possible experimental type surgery. Dr. L didn't describe it to me that way, but I know that they are using my case for a case study, and that would make sense if this surgery hasn't been done much before. I plan on talking to Dr. L about my concerns here, and he is going to need to explain to me in detail why the inverted L is better for my case than the BSSO. I'm all for learning and research, but I'm already freaked about this surgery and I'm not okay with my surgeon using some experiment method just because he feels like it. Especially since the inverted L requires fairly large incisions to the side of my face, which won't be super noticeable but will leave definite scars. The only think he told me  about why he chose the inverted L the first time we talked was that it avoids coming anywhere near the nerve in my face that is usually completely exposed during a BSSO. That means that there is a lower chance of permanent numbness in my lower lip and chin, which is good..but what is the cost of that? I'm thinking every surgical procedure has costs and benefits. I just want to make sure that the inverted L is for sure the best way to go in my case.

I'm trying to remember to write down all these questions that I have for Dr. L. I don't want to give him a hard time, because he really has been very helpful, but I'm the kind of person that needs to know everything about what they're getting into before they get into it. I just want to be completely informed, and since its my face I'd like to feel like I'm slightly involved in the decision making process. I mean, if these doctors got together and decided the inverted L would be my best route, then I don't think its too much to ask for them to simply explain to me why they reached that conclusion.

Aside from my worries about the inverted L, I've almost come to peace with all of the other down sides of the surgery. I think I'll feel better after being able to have an in-depth conversation with Dr. L about what I need to be expecting. I really want more details about the splint, because I've been getting mixed reports from my online research. I also want to know more about the bands that will be used to hold my jaw in place after surgery. I just want to know how many he's thinking and how they'll be place. Also, I want to know if they'll be the kind that I can take off for a few hours a day. I'm really hoping for the smaller retainer like splint (which is what was originally described to me by Dr. L) and minimal bands. Although, I know I get no say over these things. It just seems like the people who have that kind of splint and very few bands have an easier recovery time, and that it really what I need.

I talked to one of my professors today about the possibility of my having to miss the first couple of classes next semester depending on how my recovery goes. Dr. L said that the bands and splint should come off at 5 weeks after surgery, and if I couldn't return to work/school until that point then that actually puts me 2 weeks into the semester. Luckily, my boss is cool and fine with me missing work (it will just majorly affect my paycheck :( ) and my professor said that missing the first 2 classes shouldn't put me too far behind. So, that's all good news. I just can't go over 5 weeks, because that is already pushing it. So, all of these horror stories about 8 weeks recoveries are really worrying me. I'm trying to just stay calm and be prepared for anything until I talk to Dr. L on the 19th.

25 Days until Surgery: Freaking Out

I've been doing quite a bit a research/reading other people's blogs over the past few days, and I've been getting a lot of conflicting information. I think I'm different from a lot of people who go through this process, because I haven't been thinking about and preparing for this surgery for very long. I mean, I knew when I got my braces on that at some point I would need jay surgery, but I didn't think much about what the surgery would be like. I kind of naively thought that it wouldn't be much worse than getting my wisdom teeth out. My orthodontist didn't go into any detail about the surgery when we first talked about it. So, I just assumed it must not be a big deal. It wasn't until the last few weeks that I started to get curious about what I should expect. Now, I'm getting more and more anxious about this whole thing. I'm the kind of person that always needs to be in control. I prepare and plan ahead and research so I always know everything I need to know about any subject that I encounter. The problem with this surgery is that there is so much that just depends on each individual situation. Some people experience a lot of numbness while other have practically none. Some people stay on a liquid diet for weeks while others are able to get back to a semi-regular diet (soft foods) after just a couple weeks. Some people get banded/wired shit while others only have a couple of rubber bands that they can start to take off for periods of time after the first week. I mean, there are just so many differences that it's making me really nervous.

When I talked to my surgeon on Monday I asked about a lot of these issues, but he didn't go into a lot of detail so I'm worried that I misunderstood some things. Like, to my understanding my splint will be similar to a retainer that I just wear all the time and it's basically wired into my mouth. The problem, is that most people don't describe their splint in this way. Now, after going back through my conversation with the ortho several times I'm pretty convinced that I didn't misunderstand and I'll be getting the retainer like splint. I have read several blogs from other people who have had that kind of splint. My biggest worry has to do with my lover jaw surgery. The surgeon decided to do an IVRO instead of a BSSO (which is what most people have). The benefit of doing it this way is that there is much less risk for permanent numbness with the IVRO. However, everything that I've read about this surgery says that the patient has to be wired shut instead of just banded. My surgeon didn't mention anything about my mouth being banded or wired shut. He said that I would be able to talk directly after surgery, and I would be fine to eat soft foods as soon as I feel able. I know he said I would be able to fit a spoon in my mouth, and from my understanding of being banding shut this would be impossible.

So, when I think back on it I don't THINK I misunderstood the surgeon, but all of these blogs have me questioning my judgement. I'm very anxious to talk to the surgeon again to get more information about all of this. I don't want to wake up from surgery and be shocked that I'm banded shut. If I'm going to be on a liquid diet for 5 weeks, then I feel like I need to mentally prepare myself for it. Although, I'm really thinking that isn't the case. I'm just experiencing a lot of pre-surgery anxiety. I'm sure this is normal, but I'm just really freaking myself out. If anyone has any tips about calming down before the surgery they would be very appreciated.

Let the countdown begin: 26 days until surgery

So, I am starting this blog for several reasons. The main reason is that I'm approaching jaw surgery, and I've been doing a lot of research on what to expect. This process has shown me that the best source of information is from other blogs like this. So, I feel like it's only right that I should try to contribute to the cause a little, and hopefully my experiences will help other people who are having to go through this process. The second reason I'm starting this blog is because I'm anticipating possibly 5 weeks of intense recovery, and I'm hoping doing daily posts on here will help to keep me sane. The last reason is just that I'd like a definitive outlet for keeping up with my progress.
Here's a little basic information about me. I'm a 23 year old graduate student living in Tennessee. This entire process started years ago (as I'm sure is the case for most people), but I've had my braces on for almost a year. I've always known that the feature I dislike most about myself is my jaw line or I guess more specifically my weak chin. My family couldn't afford braces when I was a kid, but as I got older and my bite kept getting worse I felt like it was something I just had to do. They told me at my first braces consultation that I would need jaw surgery, but I didn't get the gory details until pretty recently. I'm fairly shocked at how complex this process has become. Right now, I'm feeling like if I had known how much it would take to fix my jaw I might not have bothered. Unfortunately, the reality is that my bite would have only continued to get worse and worse until I would have had to have surgery on my jaw joints if nothing else. So, it is pretty necessary but if it was just a cosmetic thing I probably would have backed out already.
Anyway, currently my surgery is tentatively scheduled for December 31st. I have a severe overjet and an open bite. In order to correct this my surgeon is going to do a 3 piece Lefort on my upper jaw, an IVRO on my lower jaw, and a genioplasty. They will be widening my upper jaw, moving my lower jaw forward so my teeth meet the way they should, and they'll be moving my chin forward so that it is where it should be. This is a pretty complicated surgery. The fact that I'm having surgery on both my upper and lower jaw means that my recovery time will be much longer than if I just had my lower jaw done. I met with Dr. K (orthodontist) and Dr. L (surgeon) yesterday and they gave me the rundown of how things are going to go. The surgery will be about 5 hours, and I'll probably spend 2 days in the hospital. After the surgery I'll be wearing a surgical splint (which is basically a retainer that you have to wear all the time at first) and rubber bands to hold my bite in place. Dr. L says that I'll be getting the splint and bands off after 5 weeks, and that is sounding like the biggest part of my recovery.
Thus far, that is all that I really know. From reading other blogs I have a decent idea of the kind of swelling and pain I should expect, but it seems like everyone has a variety of random complications that vary a lot from person to person. I'm currently trying to compile a list of the things that I'm going to need post-surgery to make life easier/bearable. If you're reading this and have already been through this process then suggestions would be very appreciated. Before surgery I'll be sure to post plenty of pre-surgery photos, and after surgery I plan on posting daily pictures so everyone can see my progress. This is the first time I've done a blog like this, but hopefully it'll serve it's purpose and be helpful to people.