11 Days Until Surgery: Pre-Op Appointment

So, yesterday I had my pre-op appointment with Dr. L and the anesthesiologist to go over the official plans for surgery. Unfortunately, all he really had for me was bad news. Apparently, Dr. L got together with a bunch of other doctors and they all worked on a virtual version of my surgery. The good news is that virtual me turned out looking great. The bad news is that they decided that I'm going to need a bone graft because of how much they are going to be moving my jaw (13 mm when the average is about 5mm..whoa). They said they could take bone from my hip or my skull, and both sound pretty scary to me. Dr. L said that he prefers the skull because it won't effect my recovery so much. Supposedly, taking bone from my skull will just give me a minor headache. I don't know that I completely believe that, but I also know that I already have problems with my hip popping and taking bone from my hip won't help that. He did promise that taking bone from my skull wouldn't require cutting my hair at all. They just part my hair and then after surgery my hair will cover any scar that is left behind. It's just one more thing to add to this list that makes my surgery more complicated that the average double jaw surgery. I'm getting a little tired of the bad news, and the extra stuff.

I did get an opportunity to ask about why they want to do the Inverted L instead of the BSSO. Apparently, the BSSO wouldn't allow Dr. L to move my jaw as far as it needs. The Inverted L also makes it alot less likely that they'll need to use a ton of bands on me..so probably no being banded shut :) The only thing that really bothers me about the inverted L is the fact that they'll have to make incisions on the sides of my face. I'm just really hoping they're not noticeable. It would almost defeat the purpose of all this if I'm still embarrassed to have people see my profile because of some ugly scars. My Mom says that she knows a bunch of ways to get rid of scars though. Also, the splint is sounding pretty bad. I'm just trying to not focus on that. It's temporary. It'll be gone after 5 weeks, and I have permission to not go back to school or work until after it is out which is very good news. Most people don't have that luxury.

I'm really just trying to stay positive and press on at this point. Surgery is only a week and a half away, but Christmas is in a few days. So, I'll be spending the next few days focusing on family and friends and having a good Christmas :) I think for the most part I'm just feeling pre-surgery anxiety. I've wanted this for years, I just didn't realize how much work it was going to take. I'm strong, and I think I can handle it though. So, now that I have all the information I'm just going to focus on staying positive throughout this experience, and remember that all the inconvenience and discomfort is temporary. I'm sure this will all be worth it.