Weeks 1-2 Post-OP

Okay, I have been a little MIA since getting home from the hospital, but I haven't been feeling too bad. My first couple of days home I was in some pain and utilized the hydrocodone I was prescribed when I left the hospital, but by day 3 or 4 the pain subsided and I have been maintaining on Ibuprofen since then. Week 1 was fairly boring. I slept a lot. I ate very little. I took my meds and cared for my incisions. I felt a little like a zombie, because I had so many cuts and my head felt so huge. However, by the 1 week mark I felt well enough to socialize with some family and eat some semi-real food!

The mac n cheese had to be majorly over-cooked so I could just let it melt in my mouth, but the calories got me feeling almost human again! Unfortunately, the next day I hit a complication. While my left neck incision seemed to be healing well my right incision began to swell and bleed. It was pretty gross and a little painful. Over the past weekend I took Ibuprofen, iced my incision, and used lots of polysporin. By yesterday the incision was still draining but the swelling had gone down and the discharge was mostly clear instead of bloody.

Today I had my 2 week post-op appointment with Dr. L. I talked to him about the issue with my right neck incision. He examined it and said it doesn't appear infected (WHEW!), and believes that my saliva gland is draining through the open incision for some reason. This is a pretty rare complication, but it isn't very serious. He prescribed some medication to dry up my saliva in hopes that will help my incision to fully heal. So far, it appears to be working because I haven't had any draining this afternoon.

Now that I am 2 weeks post-op I get to start using my Therabyte to exercise my jaw. I'm supposed to use it 6 times a day and do 10 reps each time. I didn't have this tool last time so I am really hoping that it helps. I am also continuing to experience numbness in my chin and lower lip and I can't raise my eyebrows. For now, we're just going to keep an eye on it and hope for improvement. I have another follow-up in about 5 weeks. If there isn't improvement at that point we'll have to look at options.

For now I have the green light to begin experimenting with real food. Dr. L said that my joints and stable and eating shouldn't hurt anything. So, here's hoping!

This is me at 2 weeks post-op:

Surgery Day!

SO, it's surgery day! I'm going to give you a brief play to play, because I'm posting after the fact.

I arrived at the hospital at roughly 5:00am to be admitted and do all the pre-surgery stuff.

All set with my ugly yellow hospital socks, tubes, and wires. Unlike last time, I was familiar with the routine and didn't need any anti-anxiety meds before surgery. They gave me the run down, and I tried my best to reiterate how sick I got last time. Surgery ended up lasting longer than expected (8 hours instead of the projected 6), because they had quite a bit of difficulty removing the hardware from my previous surgery.

So, after a day of surgery I woke up in recovery just wanting to die. I was in pain and extremely nauseated. Throwing up after jaw surgery is THE WORST. Apparently, I was in recovery for a few hours because I had difficulty waking up and I was so sick. When I finally got to my room I was joined my my mom and boyfriend, given more effective medication to help with pain and nausea, and I promptly passed out.

Day 1 post-op ended up not being nearly as bad as last time. They kept my pain and nausea under control and I was actually able to eat some in the hospital! Although I looked rough I didn't feel too bad.

As you can see, I was pretty swollen. They made incisions on either side of my neck and along my ears into my hairline just a bit. I was in the hospital for just a day. Since I did well with my pain and eating they went ahead and let me go home the next night after surgery. The worst part was definitely waking from surgery, but pain and nausea were kept at bay by medication and I felt much more aware and interactive than I had last time at this point. I am currently on a pureed food diet, but I do not have a splint or wire keeping my mouth closed. So, I feel relatively normal all things considered. I am hopeful for a smoother recovery than I had with my last jaw surgery!

Pre-op Appointment- 1 Month til Surgery

Hey everyone! I met with Dr. L this morning for my pre-op appointment to go over the final details of my surgery. Surgery is set for May 16th at 5:00 am, but there is a possibility it could be a little later. We'll get the official surgery time the day before surgery.

I am so thankful for Dr. L. He has had my back and worked with me so well for the past 7 years. I kind of can't believe it has been that long since I went through this last time. He has worked with me long enough to know I would come to the pre-op appointment with an exhaustive list of questions. So, he just pulled up a chair and we went through them together. I won't bore you guys with my whole list, but I'll go over what I consider the most important information.

1. I was most concerned with how long the joint would last. In previous conversations Dr. L had made it seem like there was some concern about this. However, he told me that it is unlikely that I would need another joint replacement after this one. So, with any luck this should actually be my LAST jaw surgery!

2. I also asked about appearance changes. Obviously, my last surgery resulted in a big change. I'm not hoping for a big change this time, though. I know my open bit has come back a little bit, which means that my jaw has moved. I can tell in the picture above that my chin looks further back than what I have grown used to. Dr. L said that changes will be smaller, but my jaw will be moved back into place to correct the open bit and my chin will be further forward again.

3. I'll be in the hospital for 2 nights, and surgery should take about 6 hours. They will be removing all the hardware from my previous surgery. Hopefully this will decrease the problems I have been having with severe sinus infections due to the screws in that area. 

4. Recovery will be similar to last time, 6-8 weeks. However, I won't have to deal with having a splint or being banded shut. Dr. L said I need to be on a very soft diet, pureed foods only, but I should be able to get back to normal sooner than last time. It will be based on my pain level, not my ability. My jaw will be secure after surgery.

So, all in all it was a very productive conversation. I went through pre-admittance, did my lab work, and made plans for the day of surgery. I think it will be my boyfriend and my mom with my in the hospital. There is only a little under a month to go, and I'm all nerves. For the next week I will be focused on finishing up this semester and getting things ready. I'll post another update closer to surgery or if any new information comes up.

& The Countdown Begins!

55 days until surgery!

I got the call today from the nurse at my surgeon's office. My jaw joints are good to go, and they're ready to schedule my surgery! Since I'm taking classes until the end of April, and I have some important events at the beginning of May I chose May 16th for my surgery date. That is only 55 days away!

Now, during those 55 days I have to complete my preliminary exams, get clients prepped for the transition, and complete my coursework for this semester. Not to mention all the plans I have to get in place for transitioning out of and then back into work. There is a lot to get done, but I'm trying to take it one thing at a time. For right now, I have to focus on finishing my preliminary exams before I can take care of anything else.

I go to see Dr. L on April 17th for my 1st pre-op appointment. We'll be finalizing the details of surgery and then I'll meet with the anesthesiologist. Given that this isn't my first rodeo, I don't have a ton of questions but I do plan to check my understanding of everything. My primary concern is recovery time. Despite having this surgery planned I still have an active summer ahead of me, and I want to make sure I don't have anything planned that will be impossible for me. For the most part I'll be taking it easy, but I do have some travel plans for the 4th of July and my birthday (also in July). So, I'm hoping for no complications and a relatively easy recovery time. Fingers crossed.

Next week I am going to see my ENT for the superinfection still living in my face. It is my hope that we can get it cleared up with antibiotics and nose rinses and such. I want to make sure it is cleared up prior to my surgery. I'm hoping that surgery will help with these sinus infections. My ENT told me last year that the hardware in my face is what has been causing the bacteria build up in my face. So, I'm hoping that will be better once the hardware is gone. I'll post another update following that appointment.

Wishing you all the best!

CT Scan

Hello again!

Since my last post I finally had my CT scan in preparation for surgery. They will use this scan to create my custom jaw joints. So, that is pretty exciting and means that things are moving forward as planned. Yay!

On the downside, my CT scan apparently showed a pretty severe sinus infection. The radiology report literally used the words "super infection". So, that is no fun. My surgeon contacted my ENT and set me up for an appointment at the end of March. I'm concerned because I had sinus surgery last May, and I'm worried that I'm headed down the same road. I don't know how this infection might affect the timeline of my jaw surgery. I have things set pretty tightly. There is never a good time to take weeks off to recover from surgery, but I've only been able to arrange a small window of time that it won't screw things up too badly. So, I'm really hoping this doesn't get things off track. I meet with the ENT later this month. So, hopefully that appointment will answer some questions. After that I'll meet with the surgeon at the beginning of April. I'm crossing my fingers that I'll get my surgery date then.

Tomorrow I have another check in with my orthodontist. I'm thinking everything is on track there, but it'll be nice to get confirmation. I'll post another update in a couple of days when I know more.

Orthodontist Check-in #1

Hey guys!

I hope you had a wonderful holiday and new year!

I definitely loved my break from work and classes, but I've been back to the grind for a few weeks now. I had my first check-in with Dr. K following having my braces put back on in December yesterday. Everything was pretty routine. He did some tightening and everything seems to be on track there. He did seem a little concerned about my surgery coming up so quickly. May feels like no time at all. So, he gave my the green light to get the scans that are needed to have my custom joints made.

I'll be calling on Monday to get that appointment set up. To my knowledge its just a CT scan and they'll use that to make the joint prosthetic specifically for my jaw :)

I'm actually doing some planning for the summer already. That is partially because of having surgery coming up, and I'm partially just dreaming about the summer because I have a MOUNTAIN of things to get done before then and I am already ready to be done. I'm being optimistic about what recovery will look like. For example, I'm planning a b-day party with a friend that will be occurring only 2 weeks after my surgery. I know I won't be able to eat anything, but I'm hoping to be functional enough to be present. I know recovery will take a while, but I don't want to lose my entire summer either. Especially, because this will be the last time I get this much time off all at once.

I'm trying to stay focused on this Spring semester. From now until the end of August I have 3 classes of my own, 2 that I'm co-teaching, research, presentations, and grants to apply for. Also, I'm attempting a new business venture by preparing to open a group counseling practice in the Fall. LIFE. IS. CRAZY. It is all pretty exciting, though. In all the craziness I'm trying to enjoy the now as much as possible.

All in all I think 2019 will be a good year. Surgery will happen, but hopefully it will only be a small chapter of the bigger story. As always, I will update again when there is something to update!

Brace Face!

Well, the process officially started today! I had an appointment with my orthodontist, Dr. K, that I begged for after meeting with Dr. L last week and learning about the need to speed up my timeline. I wasn't totally sure what to expect from this appointment, but Dr. K decided to go ahead and put my new round of braces on. So, here I am all geared up for round 2 of this crazy journey.

Luckily, I was able to get clear brackets again. I think that helps with the overall appearance, but the consensus among my friends/family is still that I look like a teenager. Since I'm turning 30 in 2019 I'm not feeling too broken-hearted about that. It is interesting going through this process as a professional and business owner this time around. Last time I got my braces put on I was 21 and in the process of finishing up my undergraduate degree. It was actually kind of cool to reflect on this whole process with Dr. K today. He has known me and been helping me for almost a decade now. I have been really blessed with a great team through this process. It was difficult for me to decide to go ahead with this surgery, and it has really helped my anxiety knowing that I have a couple of absolutely excellent doctors who have my back.

Now that the braces are on it is a waiting game again. I'll be going back to Dr. K at the end of January for adjustments. He originally said correcting the current misalignment in my teeth would only take a couple of month to correct. So, I'm guessing it will be straightened out (see what I did there? ;)) by the end of February/beginning of March. At that point I'll go get a fancy CT scan done so that my custom joint can start being made. Theoretically, that will also take a couple of months to be completed. So, we're currently on schedule for surgery somewhere around the beginning of May. Here is hoping everything stays according to schedule!

Until my next appointment I'll be readjusting to a mouth full of braces, enjoying the holidays, and then getting back to the grind of graduate school and work.

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!

Here we go again...

Today I had an appointment with Dr. L, the surgeon who completed my double jaw surgery about 6 years ago. I went into this appointment with the intent of getting more information about possibly going forward with total joint replacement, which he recommended last year. As expected, it appears to be a go.

Luckily, my control freak nature is helpful in this situation. I told Dr. L that I am good to go ahead with this second surgery, but I will need to coordinate with a lighter time at work and my time off from school. My hope is to get the surgery done in early May, and that will give me the summer to recover. I am basing my expectations on my last surgery experience. It took me about 6 weeks to get functional enough to return to school last time. So, I am expecting at least that long this time. This time around I have the added complication of talking literally being my entire job (I am a Licensed Professional Counseling in the state of Alabama). So, it'll be difficult to go back to work full time. My hope is to work my way up. I am only working part-time right now as it is, because I have just started a doctoral program in Counselor Education. So, this is helpful. I won't be taking classes over the summer, and I have put in for a summer job to supplement my income that I can do remotely. So, I'm crossing my fingers about getting the financial side of things figured out.

Here is what I know so far about the medical side of things. I'll be getting braces again very soon to correct where my bite has tried to compensate for the continued condyle resorption. Dr. K has said this will only take a couple of months; however, Dr. L wants me to go ahead and get them on ASAP, because he will need to get a CT scan in order to make the custom joint prosthesis. It takes about 2 months for the prosthesis to be made after the CT scan. So, that is 4 months of prep at best. Since I want to get the surgery in May I need to get started ASAP in order to leave some wiggle room to account for any possible issues. Curious what the prosthesis will look like?

That is the picture Dr. L supplied me with :) It only looks slightly different than the stock version. The benefit of getting a custom prosthesis is that it is guaranteed to fit with no issues. So, it will hopefully help the surgery go more smoothly. According to Dr. L, this surgery should have a slightly easiest recovery than the last surgery, because it only involves the bottom jaw. The primary issue will be the potential for nerve damage, but this is typically a temporary issue and nerves regenerate with time.

Overall, I left the appointment feeling optimistic about surgery and the potential results. I am very hopeful that this will finally be the last chapter of my jaw surgery saga. I will be trying to contact Dr. K to reschedule my braces appointment ASAP and I will update with new before pictures as well. I think it will be interesting the see how my bite has changed since the last surgery. I don't think it is very noticeable at this point, but I've avoided focusing on it until now.

As always, I hope all this information ends up being helpful for someone in a similar situation. From my experience it has been more difficult to find personal stories from people who have had a total jaw joint replacement. So, hopefully I am filling in the gap a bit by sharing my story. If you have happened across this blog in your search for information and answers feel free to contact me. I know this has been a stressful process for me. So, I'm happy to help others in any way that I can!

I'll update as soon as I have more information :)

Total Joint Replacement?

It has been nearly 6 years since my double jaw surgery, and it turns out the story isn't entirely complete yet. I posted in January about my visit with Dr. L, my ortho surgeon. Based on most recent images he believes I will need to have total joint replacement surgery in the future. However, the timing of that was left up to me. I was told to come back and see him in a year for a follow up.

Since that time I applied, interviewed, and got accepted to a PhD program in Counselor Education and Supervision. YAY! I've move to a new city. I'm working part-time in private practice while I'm going to school. I'm helping to run the non-profit I founded with a friend back in 2015. I have a lot on my plate. BUT. I need this stupid surgery.

We knew this was a possibility back in 2012 when we planned my original surgery. I was just hoping my joints would remain stable and not deteriorate any further. Anyway, after getting the news in January I have mostly put the surgery out of my mind, and I've been focusing on the many transitions I have going on right now. With the fall starting and the end of the year approaching I feel like I should probably start considering it again. I am a planner. Even though I would prefer to not be dealing with this, I am going to deal with it in the best way I can.

SO. I got in touch with both Dr. K (orthodontist) and Dr. L (surgeon) this week and scheduled appointments. I need to talk with Dr. K because my teeth have shifted, and they will need to be back in line before surgery. I am going to see him later this coming week. I scheduled my appointment with Dr. L for mid-December once the semester is over. That is pretty close to one year since my last appointment with him, and I won't have classes to deal with for a bit. I'm sure he will take new scans at this appointment, and I'm curious to see if the situation has worsened any more. I am also wanting to get more information about the surgery. He didn't have an opportunity to talk me through it much at the last appointment, and now that I have accepted the reality of the situation I need all the details.

From the little I have researched on my own, supposedly Jaw Joint Replacement Surgery has come a long way, and tends to yield good results. I had a candid conversation with another ortho surgeon who claims one joint replacement should be good for my lifetime. So, I am keeping my fingers crossed on that. In terms of recovery, everything I have read seems to indicate it will be similar to last time, and this is my biggest concern. That surgery took me out for 2 months and I wasn't eating normally for more than that. Luckily, I was in a life position at the time that I could rely on family and take the time off. I was on break from grad school, and my job was on campus. So, I didn't need to request additional time. I was 23 for the first surgery. I'm 29 now. I have a business and a non-profit and TONS of responsibilities. It is tougher to prepare for this time around, but I'm figuring it out.

Like last time, I'm going to document the journey to the best of my ability in this blog. I know it was helpful for me to read others' experiences last time, and I want to make sure this blog tells the whole story. Hopefully, some of the info I share will be helpful to someone else. If not, it at least gives me a good outlet for venting, haha.

5 years post-op!

Hey everyone!

I know it has been an incredibly long time since I have updated this blog. Honestly, after getting my braces off and making it past the year mark surgery stopped being something I remotely thought about. I have maintained yearly check-ins with both my surgeon and my orthodontist, but things have held steady until this year.

I'll start with all the good news. I no longer experience any side effects from surgery except for some minor sinus issues that may or may not be related. I do not experience any jaw pain or stiffness. My range of motion is great. I can eat pretty much whatever I want. The scars from surgery have faded substantially, and although I still know that they are there by touch I can't really see them. So, everything seems great! I have moved on with my life, graduated with a master's degree, and started my own private practice. Here are a few before and after pictures to show what I looked like prior to surgery and where I'm at these days :)

 2017

 2012

2012

Big difference, right? So, all is good, but there is a bit of bad news.

I went to see my surgeon, Dr. L, for my yearly check-in and after a bunch of x-rays we now know a few things. 1. My bit has re-opened just a bit. It's hardly noticeable, but the fact that it has opened at all is terrible in my book. 2. My condyles have continued to resorb, and the one on my left side is now basically gone. This would explain why my bite has re-opened a bit. 3. It is likely that this process will continue, and my bite will get worse.

All of that is some pretty awful news I was just hit with yesterday. However, there are still a lot of unknowns. My bite has stayed relatively stable over the past 5 years. Dr. L said he would expect my bite to be MUCH worse than it is considered by lack of condyle on the left side. So, there is no way to know how bad the situation could get. It is likely that I will need total joint replacement surgery at some point in the future, but at the moment it is up to me when to explore that avenue. Currently, I have no pain and my jaw function is totally fine. I just don't want to let the situation get out of hand. I also don't want to go back through a major jaw surgery. So, we are on hold for the moment.

I also checked in with my orthodontist, and a few of my teeth have moved. This is entirely my fault, because I stopped wearing my retainer. This movement could lso be making the slight opening in my bite worse. So, he has offered to put one bracket on m upper teeth to fix that situation. Currently, we are going to just do the orthodontic side and hold off on surgery. I will be doing lots of research over the next year about what a total jaw joint replacement would look like, and I will of course be documenting that journey in this blog where it all began :)

I won't be updated as regularly as I did in the beginning, but I'll post new info as I learn. I knew this was a possibility going into the first surgery, but it is a major bummer that it looks like there is another surgery in my future.

ONE YEAR POST-OP!

I can't believe it has been over a ear since I went through double jaw surgery! I'm actually late in posting this update, because I have been pretty pathetic about keeping up with this blog after the first couple of months past surgery. However, I know that when I was reading all the blogs in preparation for my surgery I absolutely loved seeing the one year updates because it showed tat jaw surgery can actually be survived :)

So, here I am to say that at one year after jaw surgery I am still here and enjoying life. Jaw surgery is certainly not something that I think about every day or even every week anymore. I do still have jaw pain sometimes. The left side of my jaw gets sore if I do too much chewing or if I get stressed (I tend to tense up my jaw and if I do that for too long my jaw gets sore). Overall though, I am very happy that I went through with this surgery. I look at pictures and videos of myself from before surgery and I don't recognize that girl! To remind you, she looked like this:

That picture is from my college graduation about 7 months before surgery. I have no chin! Now I look like this:

Look at that chin :) It is insane to me reading back over my posts on here at what an incredible journey this surgery put me through. I'm not going to lie, it was extremely tough at times. If you are about to go through this surgery you will probably think you're dying for the first week after surgery. Things do get better though. Progress is slow, but you will get there. I no longer have an of the issues that I spent so much time complaining about on here. My swelling hug around for a long time, and the skin issues took the absolute longest to get under control, but it was always manageable. I think the most important thing to keep in mind in recovering from this surgery is to not spend too much time worrying about how you look. You never look as bad as you think. It will take a while to get used to your new look and your new bite. You might have people not recognize you immediately and you might have to teach yourself how to eat and smile with your new jaws. In the end though you will be really happy with the results! Eating is so much easier these days. It's astonishing really, because I remember what it was like before and I didn't realize back then that I ate weird. I can actually bite into things now! When I smile people don't see all the way to the back of my throat! Haha, it's great and I don't think I can fully explain how great all the changes have been.

I have gotten several questions about the scars but they really don't bother me much. They are also still healing. I've actually noticed recently that they are much less noticeable than the were 6 months ago. Also, I have never had anyone mention them to me. Usually when people ask about my surgery and whether I have scars I have to point my scars out to them even if my hair is pulled back. So, I've gotten to a point where I don't care much about them, and I'm sure that one day I won't even notice them anymore :)

So, to summarize, life a year after surgery is good :) I can look back and say I'm glad I did this, and that is a place I was worried I wouldn't get to. So Hurray!

Day 148: Sorry it's been so long!

Hey guys! I'm sorry for dropping off the planet for so long! Life just started to really pick up and between school, work, and traveling I have had next to no free time. Honestly, jaw surgery just became less and less of an issue that was constantly on my mind, but that's good news! :) I'm now at about 5 months post-op and I thought I would give a good update about how I'm doing at this point since I haven't updated since the first weeks after surgery (sorry about that!)

So, first of all I'd like to say that I absolutely can't believe that it has been 148 days since surgery! 5 months ago I couldn't even imagine being this far past surgery. At this point I feel like I'm almost back to normal. Surgery is definitely not something that is constantly on my mind anymore. Really, I only think about it when I eat and even then it's not much. I still can't eat absolutely that I want, but I am pretty close. The only exceptions are things that require a lot of chewing like crunchy fruits or vegetables, tough meats like steak, and hard or chewy candies. I also still have a bit of an issue with the range of motion of my jaw. I still can't open as widely as I could before. So, I have to keep that in mind when I try to eat burgers and sandwiches. Usually it doesn't create much of an issue though, because I can just squish them a little and it's fine. I can also tell that my range of motion is still getting better all the time so that isn't something that worries me really. I have noticed that I have some jaw pain that I didn't have before surgery. If I talk to much, yawn too widely, or accidentally knock my jaw in some way then I have some pain but it's not severe. It's just a dull ache. As far as numbness goes I have almost none remaining. The only spots that are still numb are parts of my gums like my upper gums (which are only partially numb) and the area directly behind my front upper teeth where the splint was (here I can feel pressure but it's still pretty numb). I was really worried that the numbness behind my upper front teeth was going to cause my to have some kind of permanent lisp, but it had turned out that my speech has adapted around the numbness. I still feel like I sound a little weird when I say some words, but my friends have told me that it is extremely slight and less than the lisp that I had before surgery. So I'm good with that :) I continue to have skin problems, which had been my biggest annoyance in this whole process, but it had really cleared up A LOT. So, I think I'll get my old skin back eventually. I only still notice it because I used to have such nice skin so the little bit of acne and dryness that I still have going on makes me really self-conscious. So overall, I know I'm still not completely healed but my recovery doesn't impact my daily life much at all. I just have to be a little careful about my food choices. Eating isn't as easy as it was before surgery, but it's getting easier the more I get used to my new bite. I think most people don't realize that you kind of have to re-learn how to eat with your new mouth, because the old way doesn't work when everything is lined up the way it should be. So, I'm still a pretty slow eater but I'm getting better and I'm getting close to not having to think about it when I eat.

I'm also feeling better about my new look than I was at 7 weeks post-op. Pretty much all of my swelling is gone, and I definitely think the surgery gave me an improvement over how I looked before. It's just still weird seeing pictures of myself, and being surprised again at how I look. It's just an adjustment. The only think that bugs me is that my braces seem to be more noticeable now. I'm not sure if this is just in my head or what, but I hardly noticed them before surgery and now they are all I can see almost, haha. The good news in this area is that the braces are set to come off in about a month!! I absolutely can't wait for that day to get here :)

Anyway, that's my update. In the next couple of days I'm going to post updated progress pictures so everyone can get one last look before the final product when the braces come off :) I'm also going to post some pictures of the scars on the outside of my jaw to give everyone an idea of how well they're healing. I know with the Inverted L the outside scars are a big worry. I know they were for me going into this surgery. I've been pleasantly surprised that they don't bother me much. They aren't visible at all with my hair down, and I've never had anyone notice them when I wear my hair up. I'm a pretty slow healer so I feel like they still look pretty bad, but I've been assured that they will heal to the point that they just look like a normal wrinkle in my neck at some point. If anyone has any questions or needs help finding information about this surgery feel free to let me know!

Day 51

So, Monday was 7 weeks post-op. I'm at the point where I'm only updating this blog weekly because there isn't a ton of change going on. However, there is still change. It's just slow.
So, here is my list of things that are still annoying me:

1. Skin- Shocking, right? Since that has been my main complaint since week 2. It is just so incredibly sensitive to everything, and it dries out so quickly. The good news here is that I can tell that it is getting better. The areas that were broken out are no longer technically broken out. Meaning it doesn't look like acne really anymore. There are just some red dots where acne had been, but it is clearly in the healing process. I'm trying to just be patient with that. I know from having acne when I was younger that when I had a bad breakout it took a while to fully heal even after I had gotten it under control. So, I'm trying to just pamper my skin every day to help with the healing. I've stopped using any kind of abrasive wash or acne medicine on my face because this seems to irritate things more than it helps. I was my face with baby moisturizing soap instead of regular soap or face wash. I bought a special facial moisturizer that has a tiny bit of acne medicine in it. I'm still using the prescription Dr. L originally gave me, because the cream the dermatologist gave me actually made things WAY worse. ( I woke up the day after I first used it, and my face had new break outs everywhere, was crazy oily, and insanely red. It took days to get that back under control.) However, I'm using smaller amounts of the prescription Dr. L gave me, because using a ton of it seemed to make things worse too. Everything I put on my skin I do in moderation now, because I learned the hard way that using too much medicine is just counter-productive. I'm hoping that very soon things with my skin will clear up. The steroids the dermatologist gave me seem to have helped a little, because over the past few days every time I wake up in the morning I can tell my skin has improved some. So, I'm crossing my fingers that I will look more like me and less like a 12 year old with acne soon :P

2. My lips STILL don't meet at rest. However, it is getting easier to force them together. I would say at this point it only takes as much effort as it did before surgery (My lips have never met at rest because my overbite was so bad that my lips just didn't naturally cover them). This is something that has seemed to be improving this week though. I can tell by looking in the mirror that I still need to heal some in this area though, because forcing my lips to meet looks a little weird. This isn't a huge annoyance and I've read other blogs enough to know how much time it can take to get your lips to finally touch at rest. So, I'm just waiting it out. The only reason it bugs me is because I can't smile with my lips closed, and sometimes I still have food fall out of my mouth when I'm eating just because my lips don't come together to keep food in, haha. I'm sure other people just think I'm rude for always eating with my mouth open these days.

3. Still not thrilled with my new look, but I think I'm getting closer. My face still looks kind of tight to me in pictures..so I'm thinking there is still a little swelling going on. However, I was in a wedding on Friday night and there are actually some pictures of myself that I like! I haven't taken a picture of myself that I liked in at least 6-8 months since the braces made my overjet so much worse. I still think I looked kind of weird because my face was all red and broken out from the cream the dermo. gave me, but overall there were some pictures where I thought, "Hm, I actually don't look half bad" :) I'm counting this as definite progress.

So, overall I don't have a lot to complain about. I'm definitely not focusing on surgery the way I was a few weeks ago. I can go to restaurants and eat almost anything I want (within reason). I don't feel embarrassed or self-conscious in public. I do still have the tiniest bit of a lisp hanging around, but I think I am the only one who notices and it will go completely away eventually when I regain feeling of the gums behind my front teeth. So, at 7 weeks post-op life is almost back to normal. I still think about jaw surgery every day, but it is no longer my main focus and I'm looking forward to the day when I can say I'm completely happy with the results. I'm sure it's just around the corner.

Here are some regular pictures from the wedding that I was in on Friday. That would have been day 46. Try to ignore how red my face is :P I'll post real before and after pictures when I get back to my Mom's.

Day 44

Finally saw a dermatologist today to try to figure out what is going on with my skin. My surgeon had said that it looked like rosacea, but luckily my dermatologist disagreed. Dr. B (dermatologist) said that he thinks it is probably an allergic reaction to something from surgery..like anything they used on my face when prepping me or some of the medicine they gave me after. He thinks it has hung around this long, because it keeps getting re-irritated..the allergic reaction added with the swelling, extra oil, and general stress of surgery caused my skin to be hyper-sensitive and the allergic reaction couldn't heal. All of that makes sense, so I'm really hoping he's right. Anyway, he gave me a steroid pack that I'm supposed to take for 6 days along with some topical steroid cream to put directly on the bad areas of my face. He said that if he's right it should clear up pretty quickly. So, I'm really praying he's right! I'm so sick of my face being broken out, red, and splotchy. Plus it itches and burns every time I go outside for any amount of time. Very annoying. So, here's hoping my dermatologist knows what he is talking about.

In other news I have my second orthodontist appointment tomorrow. I'm thinking he's going to do some actual adjusting tomorrow. So, I'm kind of worried that I'm going to be in pain tomorrow :/ No pain, no gain I guess.

I had a pretty weird experience today. I haven't been getting out a lot since surgery except for when I have to. For the most part I've only seen family and close friends, but today when I was waiting for the elevator to see my dermatologist I saw a girl I had several classes with in college. So, we saw each other several times a week for a few semesters. Anyway, I saw her and immediately waved and started talking to her. Only, after a minute I realized that she was looking at me weird as if she didn't know who I was. It took her a few minutes before finally she said, "Oh! It's you! You look like a completely different person!" Obviously, she didn't know I had jaw surgery. So, I explained it to her, but it was just so weird for me. She is the first person I have had react that way, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I definitely didn't set out to look like a different person, and that isn't exactly a compliment. So, I really don't know how to take it. I'm sure this isn't going to be the last time I have an experience like this. I'm just wondering how to cope with it. I'm not in a place where I like the way I look. So it was just kind of jarring. I wish I knew other people who had gone through this, because no one around me really understands what it feels like. I think I'll feel better about these kinds of things once I feel more comfortable with the new look. Like everything else, it'll just take a while I guess.

Day 41: 6 Weeks

So, today is exactly 6 weeks post-op. That sounds crazy, but I guess time can't do anything but pass. Every day I'm able to eat a little more normally, although I'm still trying to be careful until I hit 8 weeks because that is what Dr. L wanted me to do. As far as chewing goes, I'm not having any problems. I don't think I could do anything chewy..but so far everything I've tried I've been able to eat fine. The only issue is that my range of motion is still limited. I can only open about as wide as one knuckle. I think this is slowly getting better, but I'm not pushing it. I know that my jaws are still healing so I'm not really worried about it right now.

Here are my big annoyances at this point (sorry all I do is complain on here, but this is the only place I can really vent, lol):

1. My face is still broken out with acne or rosacea or whatever this is. A few days ago my face got so irritated that it turned bright red as if I had a really bad sunburn. I looked like a clown :P I think this was a result of the medicine I've been putting on my face to try to get rid of the break outs. My skin got really itchy and irritated and then it started to peel. Very attractive. Thankfully, that only lasted a few days, and now my face is mostly back to its normal color. It is no longer peeling, and it doesn't feel as dry. However, it is STILL broken out. So, I scheduled an appointment with a dermatologist for Wednesday. I'm really hoping he gives me something more effective so I can finally get this stuff cleared up.

2. The area behind my front teeth that had been covered by the splint is still completely numb, and a little swollen. At least, I hope its still a little swollen, because I still have a lisp and I'm praying this is temporary. I'm trying not to get too worked up about it. I think my speech is getting better. I'm just terrified of ending up with a permanent lisp. I havent heard of this happening to anyone else. So, I'm hoping that I'm just worrying about nothing. I would think that my surgeon and orthodontist would have warned me that I could end up with a lisp. If it's still there by the time feeling comes back to this area then I'll get worried, but right now I'm really trying to not think about it.

3. I don't like my current face shape. There is one spot on the left side of my face right along my jaw line that sticks out like that one spot is still swollen. It looks really wierd. I'm hoping this is just residual swelling, and will even out soon. However, even without that I still feel like my face looks wierd. My smile looks off and my face just looks soo wide. I don't think I can really describe how I feel it looks, but it's not great :/ I know most people still feel wierd about their new look at this point so I'm just holding out for that happy place. I know 6 weeks is still too early to try to judge my "final" outcome.

Now, with all that said clearly my biggest issue is my lack of patience. All of these issues are (hopefully) temporary. So, I just have to wait it out. I'm trying to just focus on life and school and friends and put these things out of my head. It's just really hard when all I've been thinking about for the past 6 weeks is recovery progress. Sigh. Have I mentioned what a long process this is?

Anyway, I have an appointment with my orthodontist this week too. In fact, it's on Valentines Day..so Happy Valentines Day to me :) haha. I know it is probably going to be a painful adjustment, but I'm actually kind of looking forward to it because it means that progress is being made. I'm so ready to have the minor crookedness left over (and partially caused by) surgery to be fixed so I can get these things off my teeth :) I'll be at home for almost a week so while I'm there I'll take some pictures of both my face and my teeth to show how successful surgery was, because despite all my complaining surgery really was very successful. I really like the way my teeth look now. I'm just not sure about the rest yet, haha.

Day 36

I haven't been able to update much since the splint came out, because I was getting ready to head back to school/work. Back in December at the end of last semester I packed up a good portion of my apartment and belongings to take home with me to Alabama, because I knew I would be there for possibly 2 months. So, getting all that stuff back together took a significant amount of time. I was kind of dreading getting back to my regular life, because it still felt like I was spending a huge portion of every day just maintaining myself. My skin is still all crazy and awful looking and rash-y and in the morning I still wake up with noticeable (at least to me) swelling. I hadn't gotten used to getting out in public at all, let alone going back to work and classes every day of the week. Plus, my energy level still runs low really quickly. So, yeah, I was nervous. However, I am happy to report that I'm really glad I went ahead and came back. It's so nice to have other things to focus on besides jaw surgery. It's actually really nice being busy again. When I look in a mirror I still get really self-conscious because of it looking so broken out but I'm trying not to stress about it because it reality it is going to be broken out whether I hide at my house or I get out and start interacting with the world again. I'm also hoping that getting out and about will help me continue to get better faster. When I'm hiding at home I have the tendency to just bum around, which doesn't help anything at all. I just feel so much better being back and productive again.

Everyone here has been pretty nice about the surgery, although I didn't tell a ton of people here. I've only been in the graduate program here for one semester so I don't know many people. I only told a couple of friends from class, my professors, and my employer. No one has pointed out that I look different, although I have noticed people kind of double taking when they first see me. I think they just don't want to be rude by saying I look different, since I didn't warn anyone that there would be a change in my appearance. I have gotten several "you look good"'s though, and thats nice. I feels weird communicating with people who don't know about the surgery though. I still look and sound funny when I talk, because my lips don't meet without me forcing them and my lips look weird trying to come together to form words. I also still have a little bit of a lisp on some words because the swelling from where the splint was hasn't fully gone down/healed yet. I'm sure I notice it more than anyone else though.

It's crazy that it has been 5 weeks since surgery already. Actually, now I'm getting closer to 6 weeks. Crazy! I really expected to be doing better by this point, but I think I just didn't realize how big of a deal this surgery was going to be. I honestly thought that the minute the splint came off I could go back to talking and eating exactly how I used to. My advice for anyone about to go through this: just realize that you are going to go through a very long very tedious recovery. It is a VERY gradual process. It will takes months for me to get back to eating like I used to. I basically have to re-learn how to eat with my new mouth. Biting is particularly difficult, because my top teeth can't really feel anything, and this is the first time in my life that my teeth are actually able to truly bite. Since, I have spent most of my life compensating for my open/over bite while trying to bite into things it's hard for me to try to bite normally now. Of course, I can't practice it much yet, because most things that require biting won't fit in my mouth (it will only open about as wide as my index finger) or I'm not allowed to have it because it's not soft, and I'm still on soft food for another 2.5 weeks for sure.

Sigh. SO yes. It is a very long process..but the good news is that I can tell that it's getting better. Every day I feel a little more human. So, I'm on my way. I'm still not at a point where I'm happy with the results, but I'm hoping my skin clearing up (because I believe it will soon..I hope) will help that along with the swelling completely going away (which will also happen soon..I hope). I am getting there. It will just take time I'm sure. Everyone seems to think they look freaky at this point in the process. I'm just excited to be completely past this. I keep telling myself that when this semester is over it'll be summer, and I can relax..chill out..eat whatever I want..and...GET MY BRACES OFF! :) That should happen around 6 months after surgery..which is when they say everything is healed and your face has stopped changing so it is the face you will have for life :P So, I'm withholding judgement until I get my braces off.

Day 30: Goodbye Splint!

Getting the splint out today was an interesting experience. I was pretty worried that it was going to be painful, because I had been warned by the guy who made this appt. that getting the splint out early could mean extra tenderness. It wasn't bad at all though. Of course, it's never fun seeing someone coming at your mouth with wire cutters, but I think my year in braces toughened me up enough to handle it. Aside from some discomfort from holding my mouth open as wide as I could for an extended period there wasn't any real pain. The whole process only took about 10 minutes. I will say this though: it was extremely gross. Even though my surgeon said I had done an extremely good job keeping everything clean the splint still smelled really bad when it was coming off. There was also leftover stitches that had fallen out but couldn't dissolve while inside the splint, and a fair amount of blood. I'm sorry for being so graphic about it, but I feel like it's good to be warned before hand. Luckily, my blog reading helped me here because I had been tipped off to bring a toothbrush and mouthwash. My surgeon offered to supply these things, but it was convenient that I had it with me. I spent a good 5-10 minutes brushing, re-brushing, and rinsing with mouthwash before I stopped having blood and other gross stuff come out of my mouth. Extremely unpleasant. However, it was pretty great to finally see my new smile. Its actually pretty wierd having my teeth come together the way they should. I feel so much better about my new face though now that the splint is out. I'm still swollen, and my lips still don't come together at rest but it's much better than it was. I don't look so stiff and I don't have to repeat myself 3 times for anyone to understand me. The only annoying thing about the splint removal is that my gums right behind my front teeth where the splint really covered is pretty swollen and irritated. It doesn't really hurt..it's just tender and feels kind of gross. Dr. L said it would go back to normal within a few days though.

After getting the splint out I had an appointment with my ortho, Dr. K. Apparently, it was really important that I see him right after getting the splint out, because without the splint my upper jaw was a little unstable because I didn't have a continuous wire running through my brackets on top. So, there was nothing holding the 3 segments together. I was pretty worried about seeing my ortho. because I'm usually pretty sore after a visit with him, and that is when I'm not recovering from surgery :P Luckily, he didn't do much aside from replace my wires. He also gave me a new band configuration. It's more troublesome than the one I've been doing since surgery. It's like this box formed with one band that goes around 8 teeth on the top and bottom of each side. It doesn't hurt..it's just a lot harder to take on and off. I'm sure I'll get used to it soon though. So, no worries.

I am feeling a little sore now. Probably just from people messing with my mouth all day. So, I'm back to taking Ibuprofen. Oh, but I forgot the best part of today. This evening after all the appointments and my splint was off and I got my surgeon's approval (I'm still on a soft food diet for another 4 weeks) I was able to go to Red Lobster! This is a pretty big deal for me because for the last 4 weeks of recovery they have been showing this awesome commercial for this shrimp deal they have going on. Every day..several times a day..this commercial would come on and I would just dream of the day that I could have some of that wonderful looking shrimp. Well..today was finally the day. I got a huge plate of hand breaded shrimp (which is actually very soft for anyone who has made it to soft foods) and some shrimp linguine alfredo..I also had a few of those awesome butter and garlic rolls, a baked potato, and a piece of key-lime pie. I'm such a fat kid, but it was soo wonderful :)

Day 29: 4 weeks post op!

Wow. I can't believe I'm already at 4 weeks. I feel great to be this far along, but I still feel like I have a long way to go. Have I mentioned how insane this recovery is? I thought I would be practically all healed up by 4 weeks. Don't get me wrong, I can tell I've made a ton of progress. I just didn't realize all the small things that this surgery would effect, or how much those small things would bother me. Like how my lips still don't touch at rest. I knew this would probably happen, and could last for a while but I didn't realize how much it would irritate me. My sinuses really bug me too. Every time I try to get out of the house the cold weather drives them insane. My nose gets all runny, I get a lot of sinus pressure, and I end up with a pretty bad sinus headache. Extremely annoying. These things are just inconveniences though. I know I've gotten off a lot easier with this recovery than a lot of people. I'm just not good with patience, and I am beyond ready to feel completely back to normal. This recovery is just a huge test of my patience, but every day I get closer.

I'm crazy excited for tomorrow. I have an appointment with my surgeon at 10 to get this silly splint out of my mouth. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. It was one of the things I would dreading the most about recovery, but it's surprising what you can get used to. Even a huge piece of plastic wired to your top teeth gets normal with time. For anyone who is reading this that is pre-op, don't spend too much time stressing over the splint. It's annoying, and it will make you talk funny but it is just inconvenient and you'll be surprised by how little it bothers you..especially in the first week. The splint was the last thing on my mind for the first week or so. It will be great to get it out though. I'm hoping I'll be able eat better with it out. I know I'll be able to eat with a regular spoon, and that alone will be great. It's funny how much not being able to eat with a regular spoon can effect your diet. I bought all this soup before surgery because I knew I would be on a soft food diet, but I can't eat any of them because I can't eat off a regular spoon. I'm hoping that Dr. L approves me to start to expand my diet a little though. I've been inpatient in this area too. I haven't been super limited with my eating, but I'm still very aware of what I can't have and I want it so much more just because I know I can't have it :P

I'm going to post before/afters pictures after I get the splint out. I still have some swelling going on that goes up and down, but I'm hoping by now the difference between me now and me before surgery is pretty obvious.

Day 24

3 weeks! It's been over 3 weeks since surgery. I accidentally didn't post anything on Monday, which was officially 3 weeks. It just completely slipped my mind. My brother just joined the military, and he's leaving for basic training on Monday. So, I've been spending most of my free time hanging out with him. Aside from that I've become such a hermit lately. Every time I try to go out I wind up cutting it short and going home early. My face is just completely annoying lately. When I go out the cold and wind just really irritate my skin. It gets all red and itchy and gross. The medicine that Dr. L gave me has helped some, but I still have tons of break outs all over my face. I'm so ready for them to clear up. They are by far my biggest annoyance right now.

I went out to eat today for the first time since surgery. My mom really wanted to take my brother out so I went even though I was pretty nervous about it. Its not just that I wasn't sure what I could find to eat (I've been able to improvise pretty well so far)..it was more that my eating isn't super attractive these days. That doesn't bother me at home. I just keep a towel with me and as long as I can get the food down without hurting my jaw, I'm good. In public though no one knows that I just had jaw surgery and that is why my speech sounds wierd and food occasionally falls out of my mouth. I decided that hanging out with my brother was more important than my vanity though..so I decided to just have a sense of humor about my situation, and if I make a mess then it is what it is. It turned out that it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. We decided to go to a bbq place so I could get some kind of pulled meat. My mom explained my situation to the waitress and she was happy to ask the cook to cut up my chicken really fine so that I could eat it. I also had some mac and cheese and a baked potato. It was sooo good! It was all also really easy to eat. It was so nice to be able to sit in a restaurant and eat semi-normally. I didn't stress about how silly I probably looked eating. I just enjoyed the good food and time with my family. It was nice :)

I've got less than a week now until this splint comes out. At first I was worried about them taking the splint out early, but now I'm so glad because every day this thing annoys me more. I'm also wanting to talk to Dr. L about possibly doing facial exercises to get some of this stiffness/tightness out of my face. More than anything I'm hoping he approves me to expand my diet a little more. I feel ready to start eating more normally. I'm getting pretty tired of pasta. I'm actually making a mental list of all the foods I want to eat once I'm allowed to eat normally again.

Anyway..I'm going to try to post pictures again soon. I've been taking them every few days, but I haven't been posting because my internet is awful. I'm going to try to upload all of them in the next few days though!

Day 20

I haven't had much change in the last few days. Eating continues to get easier. My face is still all rashy/broken out, but I think it's getting better since I started to use the gel that Dr. L prescribed. I'm really hoping that my skin clears up in the next few days, because I'm going back to church on Sunday and I don't want my face to still look all gross by then. I've also been having more jaw pain over the last couple of days. I don't know if thats because I've been talking more and if its just because the numbness is wearing off. It's not awful pain..it's just annoying when I'm trying to talk. I haven't felt much change numbness wise. I keep getting jolts in my chin and it's crazy sensitive to touch, but it still feels just as tingly as it's been feeling. I have most of the feeling back in the right side of my face except for right under my eye, but that is hardly noticeable. On the left side I'm still tingly right under my eye, in my cheek, and in the left side of my chin. Swelling doesn't seem to have improved much either. I'm still swollen along my jaw line, in my cheeks, and in the area right above me upper lip. I think I might still have a little swelling in my chin too, but I'm not sure since I'm not even used to having a chin :P I'm not sure how big it's supposed to be naturally.

I got some awesome news the other day. I had been waiting to hear back from Dr. L's office about an appointment to get the splint out, and I was able to talk them into letting me get it off closer to 4 weeks after surgery rather than 5. The only other option was waiting until 6 and a half weeks after surgery, and that just sounded too awful. So, I'm seeing Dr. L at 10 am on the 30 to get the splint off and then I see Dr. K (ortho.) at 2 to change out my wire. Yay!! I absolutely did not expect to get my splint out any sooner than 5 weeks so I am soo happy to be getting it off early. This means that I won't have to go back to school/work wearing this awful splint that makes my speech incomprehensible. I'll also be able to start using a regular spoon again :) Since surgery I've been having to use a baby spoon and turn it upside down and lick whatever I'm eating off it. Very annoying. This means that all the soup I bought I can't even eat.

Anyway, today was pretty good. I'm slowly getting back into a regular routine of being able to get up, get ready, and get some stuff done. Class just started back so I'm going to be focusing on getting homework done over the next few days. I don't want to fall behind, and it'll be nice to have something else to focus on rather than obsessing over surgery stuff all the time. I can't wait to get to the point that I don't think about surgery anymore. I get closer every day :)